Redundancy

I cried when I knew I lost you, afraid I had lost it all and then I realized that losing you, didn't have to mean I lost me. Maybe, maybe if I had just looked away that first day you came towards me, everything would be different and my heart wouldn't be breaking right now. For now, im going to smile and make you think im happy, im going to laugh so u don’t see me cry, im going to let you go in style and even if it kills me, im going to smile. I cant believe im back on the same ground!!! I cant even apply the things ive learned before. Anyway, im gonna get through this. My family, friends are there for me, I know it. Best wishes to you.

Nobody

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self contradictory. I was naive. I was looking for my self and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with. That I am nobody but my self. I think of life now as a play that I've written for myself, and my purpose is to have fun playing my part.

Epiphany

The sanctity that i found in your arms, it was false alarm and it burns, yeah it hurts. But im moving forward now. Thank you, coz' if its not because of you, i wouldn't have learned, i wouldn't have a story to tell and an ending to our so-called song. Our story has ended. Im breaking free now. Im ready to start a new chapter in my life. Yeah before im stuck at a dead end, but now im taking the other side, and im gonna take the next step alone and im not afraid. I believe that the best is yet to come. Ive been such a fool holding on to you. I'll just wait for the day where i forget who u are, and where your name sounds old and worn. Im not going to stress myself over you, im done.

worry, fret, concern, anxious, agonize etc.

For this blog, i was inspired by a friend who is killing himself with worry. I know, u might think is it a big deal? Well i think yes. Haha! We all worry, because worrying is just one indication of our human capacity to feel. We worry because we do not know enough. We worry about things we are unaware of, because we know that there are things that are extremely dangerous and situations that are totally beyond our control. So here is my point, worrying is not a sin but worrying could lead to sin. We sin when we do foolish things because of worry or when we allow ourselves to fall into too much worrying because again, such worries can become unbelief. Unbelief is sin. So to avoid creating sin, first eliminate the cause of worry, translate your worry into positive action. Second, to deal with worry, cultivate the spirit of thankfulness, thank the creator. Sometimes, or can i say always learn to live one day at a time to avoid too much worry. Confused? I mean get out of the past and leave the future alone, today is the tomorrow that you worried about yesterday. Enjoy today, it is the only time you have, thats third. Fourth, do everything as act of obedience to God, leaving results in His hands. Bring your worries to Him. Consequently, we worry because we are finite and we know it. Yet to recognize our finiteness is to recognize our humanity. To worry therefore is human and it is not necessarily sinful but too much of it leads to sinful. Hope ya'll got my point! Thanks Mr. Girao.

boredness and loneliness

Dang! Killer boredness strikes again, yeah, if i feel bored, i feel lonely. I learned from a book that we have to express, not suppress our loneliness, but its freaking hard because i don't have anybody to express my loneliness with. But what did i learned just now because of boredness?? The first thing to do, if we are lonely, is not to deny it. If we feel lonely, acknowledge and accept it. We need to express our lonelines, and remember, it is not wrong to cry (definitely for us boys, i mean men. "Boys don't cry, men does.."). Well thats what i do. LOL. I feel crazy. Coz' sometimes, for every privilege we enjoy, we have to give up another, thats what loneliness do. Confusing ey? We need to remember, life is a continuous trade-off, i mean life requires that we give up something in order to gain something else. I learned (from a book) that when in certain situations, we realize that what we have given up is too costly for us to lose, then common sense dictates that if it still possible, we should reclaim what we have traded off. We should not allow our loneliness to overwhelm, paralyze or incapacitate us, instead, give ourselves fully to the task at hand. To conclude this up, we learn to cope by not denying our loneliness. Express it. Refuse to allow loneliness to paralyze us. So screw loneliness so it will screw boredness.

hurt = knowledge

I felt terribly hurt before, but what did i learned from it? First, we all get hurt, its part of being human, that having hurt feelings is a defense mechanism to protect us from an emotionally distressing situation. To avoid feeling terribly hurt, here are some things that i have learned. We must lower our expectations, because a good deal of our hurts has to do with our expectations. We expect to be reciprocated with good for the good that we do. Next is be at peace to everyone. We hurt others either by what we do or by what we fail to do and by what we say or what we fail to say. If we hurt somebody, we need a genuine apology, to clearly identify the wrong done and accept direct responsibility for what had happened. Refuse to be enslaved by tyranny of the oversensitivity is the next thing. If we try to please everybody all the time we will become slaves to the tyranny of those who are impossible to please. Somehow we have to draw the line between giving necessary attention to those we have hurt and in contrast, trying to massage the sensitive egos of the oversensitivity. Next is take the initiative for reconciliation and deal with hurt feelings promptly. When we allow a hurt to fester, we soon turn it into anger. When we allow anger to fester, we turn it into resentment. Resentment then becomes BITTERNESS and BITTERNESS turns into hate - hate of the one who hurt you. We should remember, hurt feelings are inevitable. Thankfully, they need not be debilitating. Hurt feelings could be overcome.

I want to thank the following persons for helping me overcome HURT:

Zari Bilon
Kelly Guanco
Ainz Tan
Heart Sanares
Mr. William Girao
My Family
and the CREATOR

confessions of a singer

I didn't teach her fairly as i should have, if i made her feel subsequent best, i am sorry i was blind. She is still on my mind, now its a lonely time. I guess i never told her in our days that i was happy she was mine. I'm hoping that one day she will tell me that her love hasn't die. I don't know how will i walk away from all the memories that we shared together, how do i not miss u when you are not around? I can't pretend that i ' asleep when my tears starts to fall, i can't get up, every night i miss you. I'm barely hanging on, now all that is left to me is what i pretend to be, i'm broken up inside, seeing you kills me. I don't know where to go. Now for the last part, your turn to confess... Just tell me you are releasing me... I'll go.